Author Fighter News
by Kadia678
Summary: The Fanfiction Author Fighters decide to start a news show. One shot.


With the screen reading the letters AFC in the corner, the "iconic" logo, as Lunatic called it, and the four note tune made up on the spot, the backstage crew knew it was time for the Author Fighters News. Lion's Edge set up the cameras, TLSoulDude set up the lights, and X Prodigy adjusted the boom microphones. Phoenix of the Darkness sat up straight in her chair ready to read the teleprompter while Tal Ordo slouched slightly. Everyone was expecting Phoenix to start reading, but she stared blankly at the screen. Mistress of Dawn whispered to her. "Pst.. Phoenix. You're on!"

Phoenix continued to look at the screen. "I know," she replied quietly. "The teleprompter isn't on."

"Well, who runs that?" Tal asked.

Everyone turned to the narcoleptic author. "NUKID!" Edge yelled. "GET YOUR ASS UP AND TURN ON THE DAMN TELEPROMPTER!"

Nukid instantly woke up. "I'm up, I'm up!" he announced. Nukid ran to the teleprompter and turned it on.

Phoenix adjusted herself again and started to read. "Good morning viewers!"

"Once again it's the AF news," Tal added.

"The #1 place you can get your information about the Authors."

"Polls this week come from the following authors: Shadow DJ, Lion's Edge, Phantos the Hedgehog, Wild Rook, Kiva, TLSoulDude, and Hurricane's Quill."

"Now let's check on the weather."

AdventChild faded into the TV wearing a suit with a tie tied wrong. He had a wide creepy smile and wide eyes. "There, now that the children are scared away, I'll talk about the weather." Advent pointed to the weather chart that zoomed into the location he usually is. "As you can see from this cold front, there will be slight showers." He made his voice quieter. "All from the tears of the fools who refuse to bow down to Jashin." He raised his voice and he laughed manically.

Someone threw a coco-cola that hit his head. It was none other than his older brother X. "Tell the people the #$%ing weather!" A bell sound effect bleeped out his profanity.

TL hit him in the back of the head. "Don't swear, we're on TV!"

The Jashin worshipper sighed. "Fine. Los Angeles will have sunny weather. Perfect weather for slaughtering. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Advent pulled out his scythe and started to run frantically.

X drew his massive sword out of his coat. "Oh no you don't!" He chased his brother across the stage causing a few lights to burn out.

The camera scrolled back to the anchors. Phoenix and Tal's eyes were as wide as they could be. A boom mike fell in front of Phoenix, just centimeters away from crushing her. Tal finally told the viewers, "We'll be back after these messages." The television cut to commercials.

The first commercial showed a series of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanart and screenshots. "There are a lot of Bronys nowadays, but how will be able to tell who is really a fan , who is trolling, and who is secretly a fan?" The voiceover was Kadia doing a bad impression of a British woman. The screen showed the product. "From the makers of the Kingdom Hearts Fangirl Detector comes the MLP: FiM Fan detector. Now you can tell which of your friends are one of us!" Kadia was shown testing it on Shadow- DJ. The device vibrated but didn't explode.

Shadow-DJ was shown on screen. "But what if it blows up in my face?" he asked with charcoal covering his face.

"No problem," the announcer answered. "We'll send you another one absolutely free! And for a limited time, you can get this DVD set of the show's entire first season and half of it's second season."

"What other detectors do you have?" Rook asked.

"We have the Hetalia Fan Detector…"

Kitten Hachi-chan was shown on screen with Rook holding the detector that blew up in his face. The explosion included bishie sparkles.

"The Twilight Fan Detector that will blow up in the Twihard's faces, and more. Look at our website for details. And lastly, MLP: FiM Fan detector. ORDER NOW!"

A screen popped up including the details of the product. "Warning," Edge's voice said. He started very quickly. ". Anddon'. Thank you!"

Another commercial appeared. Lunatic started to talk. "Want to stop getting Rick Roll'd? WELL TOO BAD HAHAHAHA!"

_We're no strangers to love_

_You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy~_

Phoenix announced, "And we are back. What did those ads have to do with anything? No clue! Regardless, let's do a wrap up of the news because we don't have that much time."

"Nukid uploaded his second chapter of Kingdom Hearts 0: The Keyblade King."

"He crosses over Ed, Edd & Eddy with Kingdom Hearts, oddly it works. Also, TL has his latest 'Outta the DVD' on DeviantArt. And don't mean to self advertise myself-."

"That's what the advertising thread is for!" X heckled.

Phoenix jumped out of her seat and jumped on the desk. She pulled out her keyblade and started chasing him outside of the set. "Fight like a man!"

Tal continued. "Uh…Well my currently angry anchorwoman updated her Kingdom Hearts fan fiction Connections."

Phoenix swaggered back to the desk. "And Edge updated _Author Fighters: Wrath of the Emperor._"

"Blimey," Tal said, mocking Edge's accent. "I hope very much he has time in his _shedule_ to update this piece of work. It would make me quite chuffed. Pip pip cheerio."

Edge raised his eyebrows and started to sharpen his claws. Phoenix started the final announcement. "That's all the time we have for this week! I'm Phoenix of the Darkness."

Tal got out of his seat and pushed in his chair. "And I'm dead."

Mistress of Dawn made a show of pretending to press the button, but kept the tape on rolling. Edge ran towards Tal. X kicked the door open. "We aren't done." He said challenging the key wielder.

Phoenix's weapon appear in her right hand and charged into X. As the two's weapons collided, Phoenix kicked him where it hurts. As X was on the ground, he told her that Advent wasn't done creating havoc. While she chased after Advent, Dawn turned the camera towards herself along with TL and Nukid. All waved towards the camera until Dawn turned it off, thus ending the broadcast.


End file.
